Another Day...

Another few pesos. It was busy as hell today, and I have been neglecting you, faithful readers and for that I apologize. Life has been crazy the past few weeks and I haven't had much time (nor ability) to write with an open mind.

For those who know me, I was involved with taking my Level I Firefighters course last year. We wrote the final in October and we just found out last week that we all passed. YAY us! We can't apply for our Level I seal though until we have our 472 - which is coming in the latter part of this year. It will happen though, as will our level II. Exciting.

I registered and begin next week my EMR course. Of course I had to get my First Aid with HCP updated as mine expired years ago. What an ordeal that was.

The course itself was fantastic. I had a fight with my brain though. I broke down just as we were breaking for lunch. I felt the adrenaline rush, I felt the anger and the apprehension of the accident come rushing back. It was horrible. I haven't had an expierence like that since I started my meds, or even before. That was by far the worst episode I have had. Usually I only cry at home, and have flashbacks. But this one was in public. Although I consider my firehall my house, it was something else to have a flashback outside of the walls of my own home where people just don't understand. Eventually, and with help I did collect myself and get myself through it, but it was a  reminder of just how vulnerable I still feel.

Work is STILL awesome. I love it. Fast paced, and always something to do. How can I go wrong? I have always said I love my job before, but this time I actually mean it. It's a great place to work, with lots of laughs even at the worst times. I genuinely love my job.

I have been angry about certain aspects of my life to which dear reader I'm sure you know what exactly I'm pertaining to. My anger is not resolved. It is not even mis-placed. It is right where it belongs. I don't think I have to apologize for it either. Although I have forgiven said person whom I'd not care to even breathe his name, I am still mad. SO mad. I don't underandstand how he could be that stupid, and I am NOT okay with being your friend. YOU are not my friend. I'm done with pieces of shit like you. I'd rather wipe your face against the gravel and spit on you when I'm done then associate with you - even give you the time of day. Forget my name - until you see it in court. Yea, you blew your chance and I'm NOT backing down asshole. You can't be a man - guess what you're gonna be now bitch. You're going to learn you CANNOT abuse your "Friends" and get away with it. And if YOU were a quasi decent friend you woulda owned up to what you've caused. Get a GOOD Lawyer buddy cause mine IS good. Hope you're happy with the new life you've created - cause you're going to be alone. Oh wait - not alone - but with the one who made you who you are now. Proud? If you are you're a bigger piece of shit than I could have ever imagined. Have a fantastic effing life. I know MINE will be better because you AREN'T IN MINE.

Peace.
(phew that feels better and better EVERY TIME)