Jen is tired.

Another day away from my family.


Today was a call of duty day, where I spent the majority of the day away from home and with my other family. By my other family I mean my fire family. There was a call for Caroline, and as always I offered my assistance if needed. This was about 10 this morning and I got home around 530. Just another day right? Nope.


This was my FIRST call back to duty since the accident. It was a house fire. I called Caroline's fire Chief (Assistant Chief of the county) to offer my assistance if they did not have enough bodies to fill the boots. He  came and got me and off we went. The house was not occupied and no one was hurt - but the house was a complete loss.  Pretty minor when you're talking about no lives being lost in the process. I remember thinking to myself "This is it. My first call back. Will I be alright?" Part of me was still as giggly and giddy as my first call ever (which coincidentally was a house fire as well). It felt - well there aren't many "right" words coming to mind. 
It was amazing, fantastic, crazy and exciting all at the same time. I finally felt free. I didn't have to worry about my day to day worries, I didn't have to think about the accident - I just got to do my job. There's no bigger high - and I don't care what anyone says. The fire family is one that is so special and wonderful. We are all business at the time of need, but can still sit around a table together after a call and smile and laugh. They are just what I need when my mind is running. I got to do a job that most dream about - and that's how I know that it's my calling. I feel needed and trusted in what I do, which reinterates that if they trust me with my abilities I know I can trust in myself too. It's a pride. In your family, and in yourself. You KNOW you can do the job, you know THEY can do the job and that makes it all worth while. Seeing a family or person in need and to know that they're looking to you for the comforting words or the comforting smile, or even just a hand to hold in a time of need. THAT makes my job worth every long night and early day. 


Yes, I miss my family when I am gone. No, those moments might never be replaced. But when I come home from a long call and my seven year old daughter asks me if I helped the person in need, and I can say yes in reply, that makes it worth while. She understands that mommy leaves to help people, and she truly takes pride in it as well. She gets upset with other kids at school if I come in in my uniform to pick her up and the kids call me a police officer. She is the FIRST to correct them that "mommy is a FIREFIGHTER NOT a police officer"... it always makes me smile. 


Today was a real head clearer and I'm glad I was given the opportunity to help another family out in a time of their need. I am confident again, in myself and my strength. Thank you Chief for taking me with you!


And trusty readers never forget:
Firefighters were made so Cops have heroes. 


Love Jen